Pete Aldin requests...

In my Halloween Newsletter, and in the archived version HERE, I listed four kinds of Monsters In The Pew that you'll want to avoid. I gave you the Frankenstein Christian, the Dracula Christian, the Mr. Hyde Christian, and the Invisible Man Christian. In the comments, Pete Aldin asked for an extended version that included a Wolfman Christian and a Zombie Christian.

The Wolfman is a stumper. The first thing that comes to mind is when I worked at Wal-Mart and had long hair and massive sideburns. A little girl passing by looked at her mommie and exclaimed, "Look Mommie, that man's a werewolf."

Well, I'm not (unfortunately), but I do think they're interesting. What always grabbed me about them was that they went at everything with unstoppable power and reckless stupidity. It reminds me of a few guys I knew that were, above all things, warriors for Christ--ready to exorcize the demons whereever they might be found. They're the guys who cannot refer to their bible as a bible, or the Word, or the Holy Book. Their bible is, and always will be, a sword. They think of Spiritual Warfare almost constantly and, I bet, have comic book images of their battles with the demonic, floating around in their head. They're beastly warriors for Jesus. Grrrr. Chomp.

Phew. Okay. Now, taking a cue from Audio Adrenaline, I've decided to go with the Zombie Christian as a good guy. It would be very easy to draw a connection between Zombies and luke-warm Christianity, being dead in the faith and all, But I'm looking for something of a challenge. A Zombie Christian is one who marches without question into the fray. They're oblivious to harm. Their sole purpose seems to be to make more Zombies which, if you can set aside the whole cannibalism thing, looks a bit like evangelism. Hungry?